I dreamt someone else's dream last night.  I was seeing the world through the eyes of a young girl in Ireland around the turn of the 20th century. 

She was blond, pretty, and her family was well off.  She had her life all planned out.  She knew who she wanted to marry, where they would live and how many kids they would have.  She knew with her family's money she would have no problems.  Her life was good.  The boy (gosh they were all so young, maybe 13-ish) was poor, idealistic, resistant to her.  They were good friends with each other a brunette girl, also not as well off as the blond.  They spent time together all around the island(?)  There was a big barn that they spent time in on the blond's parent's property. 

The blond spent a lot of time getting ready for her life ... getting her house ready for when she would marry ... thinking about what they would do and how they would live.  She spent a lot of time on her wardrobe and hair but an incredible amount of time moving furniture and furnishings around her house getting it ready.  (I'm not one to move furniture or fuss with my house, or give a thought to my wardrobe, so I found this tedious!)

She was so sure, so set in what would happen (... so unlike me.)  It was really odd for me to be in the mind of someone so young to begin with, but so sure of things.  She was really happy too.  It was strange feeling her emotions and seeing her life but still being so much myself.

One night the friend girl started talking about what she wanted from life. It was night and the three were walking to the barn.  I get the impression the brunette and the boy thought the blond shallow.  So the girl/friend started talking about her future (and me being in the blond's head I knew the blond was uninterested but she was kind about it.  There wasn't any malice, she just was so very focused on her own life and it didn't feel shallow, it was more like she was just overwhelmingly excited about her own life.)  Blond girl listened politely as the other girl talked of school and marriage and things that 13 year olds talk about.

Then the other girl asked the blond about her future and the blond had this feeling wash over her, which also washed over me.  It took me by surprise.  Quite frankly up until this point I was not thrilled to be feeling and seeing the world though a 13 year olds eyes to begin with (but I did like the setting) and I was expecting her to go on more of the furniture and pretty dresses that she seemed very concerned with (... and not interesting me in the least.)  But this feeling had a supernatural feel to it and it reached right out and grabbed my attention!  It felt/was like her life was fated and she had some insider information on the strands of it all or how it worked.  I, inside her head, seeing through her eyes, was tingling and just waiting ... dying to hear her answer!  It was incredible!

She said that her life was just screaming to her.  Life in general was screaming to her, telling her to live it and she would figure it all out.  She said she had an underlying knowing how her future should be and that it would seem simple to some but it would lead to something in future generations that was really important. Her voice was even a little different, more serious, less frilly and childlike ... and the other girl and the boy just stopped and faced her and stared wide eyed at her (which I would have done had I not been in her head.)  I get the distinct impression that they thought it would be insipid, silly rich girl talk but they could feel the supernatural feeling too and were surprised by it.  And then the supernatural feeling was just gone. *Poof*  After that her voice was not as serious and she was like she always was.

When the other two shook off the intensity of the blond girls picture of the future, it was the boys turn to talk about his future.  He didn't come right out and say it, but he didn't want this girl to take care and keep him.  He wanted to make a name for himself.  He was proud and driven.  He said the he was going to go be great. He was going to leave, make his own way and his own fortune in the world.  He was going to take the world by storm and be respected.  When he spoke of his future he tried to make her understand that her ideas about it were wrong and he had an edge to his voice and his eyes bored into her ... and she was completely un-phased by it.  He said he was leaving and would be back IF he was successful. I can still feel his frustration.  (I thought of him as a George Bailey from It's a Wonderful Life [my soul mate, I swear!]  Someone ready to blow that chicken shit town and strike out on their own.)

She was disappointed by the delay but still 100% sure they would be together. She was just so at peace with it and so ready, and so very sure.  And she worked really hard to seduce the young guy but it wasn't urgent like she had to win, it was that she knew ... really KNEW they would be together and she was anxious to get on with her life.  She was so blissfully happy.  It was worth all the frilly stuff to feel her feelings!

Then the dream flashed forward and he was back wearing one of those great suits you see in movies of the period.  I was really taken in by his suit as I watched their lives with her eyes.  And they were outside ... oh, it was gorgeous!  If I could ever find that place in Ireland I would probably just die of the shear joy of it.  They were in front of her house and it was on a bluff overlooking the ocean.  The sun was out, it was cool but not cold.  The grass was yellow like it is in the fall and it was bent over like the wind always must have been blowing it over.  I was interested in where they were so instead of listening to their conversation (and I have the feeling they were waiting for someone) so I searched her mind to see what her house was like and what the surrounding area looked like.  I had seen bits and pieces in the dream but I wanted to take the time to really look around. 

Her house was two stories.  The top story was level with the overlook and the bottom story was level with the ground below ... like it was built on a hillside.  It was stunning and unique.  It had a lot of windows and they had a car, like an model T or something (I don't know my early cars!)  Inside it had a banister made from a log.  It didn't seem to fit with the house's decor ... it seemed rustic in the middle of all this other opulence of their house.  All the curtains and cushions were velvet.  I saw her mother and knew the daughter would be living in that house and not the parents but I don't know why.  The furniture that the blond loved so much was delicate and intricate, carved wood, ritzy, looked really REALLY expensive.  The dishes and glass ware was delicate and feminine.  Her dresses were all frilly, she spent time on her hair and ribbons and shoes and fancy buttons.  She had ivory hair combs and brushes.  She had a big room with a big wardrobe for all her dresses and stuff.

But I wanted to know what was going on with the two of them so I went back.  And the boy, taller, older, was back and his suit showed success but he was still resistant.  I get the feeling he was miffed that she was so sure and he wanted to prove that it was his choice and not hers.  She was just so damn sure of herself and it bugged him. 

You know that scene in M. Night Shyamalan's "The Village" where Joaquin Phoenix basically tells the blind girl that she's too pushy and if he wants to ask her to marry him, HE'LL be the one to do it?  It was sort of like that.  This boy wanted to make his own choices.  (I found a quote of this scene on IMBD ... This is Joaquin Phoenix's character to Ivy when she pesters him about what will he do after they marry ... "Why can you not stop saying what is in yours? Why must you lead, when I want to lead? If I want to dance I will ask you to dance. If I want to speak I will open my mouth and speak. Everyone is forever plaguing me to speak further. Why? What good is it to tell you you are in my every thought from the time I wake? What good can come from my saying that I sometimes cannot think clearly or do my work properly? What gain can rise of my telling you the only time I feel fear as others do is when I think of you in harm? That is why I am on this porch, Ivy Walker. I fear for your safety before all others. And yes, I will dance with you on our wedding night."  [This wasn't in my dream but this reminds me of what I think the boy was feeling.])

Then everything flashed forward again and the blond was putting pictures in a picture frame.  There were several picture of her in her all her frilliness. (gads!) There was a picture of her and the boy, very young, and there was a picture of her, him and their daughter and son.  The kids were saying they wanted more pictures of Daddy around because they missed him, and she was telling them that the war (and in my mind I was thinking WWI) would soon be over and he's be home.  She was still with that blissful, peaceful, sure feeling like everything was going according to this great big plan.

And then my stupid alarm clock rang.  *Sigh*

The thing that stands out was A) how much she loved pictures of herself, and her hair and moving all that damn furniture ... sigh ... and B) that she wasn't smug about how her life was, it all had a supernatural feeling to it.  She just knew and it wasn't something that she wanted and just worked to get ... it was something that was chosen for her from a force outside herself.  She absolutely believed it and it coursed through her body when she thought of it.  It was fun to experience such confidence especially since I'm 39 and I still don't have a clue as to what I want to be if I ever grow up.

And I have no idea where this all came from but it was nice to visit someone else's life and feel that incredible feeling of purpose.